A Miserable Day
by Just Stay HIV Positive
Summary: Cartman doubted anything would surprise him anymore. He was wrong.A short one-shot with Kyle and Cartman. No slash. Sorry the summary sucks, please read anyway:


A Miserable Day

Author's Note: (Sorry about the lousy title, it was late and my brain wasn't working so good.) So, yeah, this is pretty much just a one-shot random friendship fic (No slash) I wrote at like 3:00 in the morning. It's a Kyle and Cartman friendship fic (unlikely as that sounds:)) The POV is a little screwy, I had to mess with it a bit to get the ideas that I wanted but hopefully it will make at least some sense. The italics are thoughts and memories and emphasized stuff and movie names. That part should be pretty obvious :P. And they're teens in this one. Probably like sixteen-ish or something.

First fic so plz be nice or I will cry myself to sleep for a week.

Disclaimer: I own South Park! :)

Disclaimer for disclaimer: I lied. :(

It was a miserable day. That was the simplest way of putting it. A cold rain had fallen for most of the day and the gray sky promised only more rain and even the possibility of a storm later. Eric Cartman hurried his pace, wanting to get out of the miserable weather as soon as possible. A gust of wind chiseled its way through his rain-soaked coat causing him to shiver and mutter a curse at the Colorado weather. _Almost home. Then it's Cheesy Poofs, TV and a warm blanket for the rest of the evening. _ Trying to keep the warm mental image in his mind he cut across the park, angling towards his street. His feet squished in the damp grass, water leaking into his shoes. _Damn rain. _He had almost reached the far side of the park when he heard a noise to his left. He glanced dubiously at the grove of bushes and trees. Logic told him that it was probably some local squirrel or something of the sort, but then again, this was South Park so it was just as likely to be a giant hamster, a mouse with a penis grafted onto it or even a leprechaun. None of these possibilities would have surprised him. In fact, Cartman doubted anything would surprise him anymore. He was wrong. He stepped around the tree and stopped dead in his tracks, staring. Leaning against a tree, knees pulled to his chest and head buried in his arms sat Kyle Broflovski. Cartman didn't think he'd ever seen a more miserable-looking person in his life. The smaller boy was completely soaked, as if he'd been there for some time. His sopping green hat was sitting crookedly, allowing a few stray red curls to poke out and plaster themselves on the side of his head. His thin body shook like a leaf in the breeze. It took Cartman a moment to realize that this was not only due to the chilling wind, but that the boy was crying. Kyle Broflovski was crying. His body shuddered with silent sobs, unaware of Cartman's arrival. Cartman hesitated, wondering what he should do. The obvious thing would be to laugh at him for being such a pussy, maybe torment him further, but Cartman wasn't even sure it was possible for him to look more miserable than he already did. _It's no fun if he's already miserable. _The larger boy shifted uncertainly causing the grass to make a squishing sound. Kyle's thin shoulders stiffened at this sound and he looked up slowly. His green eyes were rimmed with red but it was the complete despair that took Cartman by surprise. The look only deepened when the other boy recognized him.

"It _would_ be you." He said almost inaudibly. "Just get it over with and leave me alone." The smaller boy reburied his face in his wet sleeves waiting for the inevitable taunts to ensue. Cartman was still too surprised to even think of anything to say. It occurred to him that he had never actually seen Kyle cry before. And he'd definitely never seen that look of complete despair in the other boy's eyes. The only time that had even come close to now was after Kyle finally went to see _The Passion_. But that hadn't been anywhere close to this. Cartman supposed this should be a great victory then, to see his childhood nemesis so defeated, but the victory felt hollow. _It's because you didn't cause it_ he reasoned with himself. Curiosity was getting the better of him now. _Well, I think I should at least find out what finally got to him._

"So, what's your problem, Jewboy?" Cartman tried to say it as disdainfully as possible. God forbid it actually sound like he _cared_! Kyle didn't move for a long time, still expecting a verbal assault. When none came he slowly lifted his head.

"Why do you care?"

"Like hell I do!" snorted Cartman. Kyle's emerald eyes dropped and he said nothing for a long while. Just when Cartman had given up hope on an answer the Jewish boy replied.

"Everyone hates me." He said softly "My parents just fight all the time, when they're not yelling at me, and Stan wants me dead." Cartman distantly recalled the incident from last week. It had been something to do with Wendy. Ah yes, Kyle had seen the little slut with Token but Stan hadn't believed him. The resulting argument had escalated from a shouting match to Stan nearly breaking Kyle's nose and wishing death threats on him. Cartman remembered enjoying the dispute and being disappointed when Mr. Mackey had broken up the fight.

"My dad said he hated me…and never wanted to see me again. He…kicked me out of the house…" Cartman frowned, noticing a dark bruise around Kyle's left eye. He'd thought at first it was from last week's fight with Stan, but realized it was too recent for that. Cartman felt a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. If felt…almost like… sympathy? _Not cool. Why should I care? Ugh, this is retarded; I'm freezing my ass off out here. I should just go home._

"I guess it's my dad's lucky day. And yours too." Kyle murmured softly. The smaller teen reached beside him and picked something off the soggy grass. Before he was even aware of what he was doing, Cartman had leapt over to Kyle's side and seized his thin wrist, wrenching it and the gun away from the boy's head.

"What the hell are you doing?! Stupid Jew!" he yelled right into the startled boy's face. Cartman noted he was kneeling in the wet grass, completely soaking the front of his pants. _Damn it! I should be at home with Cheesy Poofs and Terrance and Philip, not here with a suicidal Jew!_ Kyle dropped his gaze.

"I…I just don't want to deal with it anymore…" The look of hopelessness in his normally sparkling green eyes brought on that annoying twinge of sympathy in Cartman's stomach. _Damn it! Sympathy is for people with consciences!_ Cartman glared at the smaller boy. _This isn't like him to pull a stupid-ass stunt like this, this shit must have really f**ked him up._ Cartman had a grudging respect for the other's normal determination. Next to himself, Kyle Broflovski was probably the most strong-willed person he knew.

"Look, asshole, you're ruining my Saturday. The Terrance and Philip marathon started 5 minutes ago and thanks to you, I missed the opening!" Kyle didn't acknowledge that he'd even heard the other boy speak, his eyes still on the ground.

"Ugh, you stupid Jews are such a pain in the ass!" Still no response. _Damn it! Say something already!_ Cartman squeezed the frail wrist he was still holding, satisfied when Kyle winced in pain. _Damn his wrists are small._

"Look, killing yourself isn't going to help shit."

***

_Just leave already. _Thought Kyle miserably, still not taking his gaze off the ground. Cartman squeezed his wrist even tighter, the thin bones threatening to break under the other teen's pudgy but strong fingers. Tears prickled at his still wet eyes and Kyle bit back a cry of pain. The gun slipped out of his grip and the pain lessened. He thought about protesting, but decided to wait until Cartman let go of his wrist. _Great_ he thought with dark humor _I came here to kill myself, but I'm afraid of a broken wrist_. Suddenly a thought occurred to him and he frowned, glancing sidelong at the other teen.

"I thought you wanted me dead. You hate me."

***

Damn. Should have seen that one coming. Cartman mentally cursed himself.

"Why…?" asked the pale teen "You hate me…" The larger boy released Kyle's wrist and turned away in disgust.

"Of course I do, but if I wanted you dead, trust me I would have let it happen a long time ago." Cartman winced at the words that had slipped out. _Damn, he's too perceptive to miss that…_

"Let it happen? What the hell are you talking about? You want me dead, you've tried to kill me before!" _Damn it, damn it, damn it, just keep your mouth shut, Eric. _ Despite his mental tirade, Cartman found himself still talking.

"I'm the one who always ends up saving your sorry Jew ass!" Kyle turned his full gaze onto Cartman now and stared at him with a mixture of doubt and confusion.

"What?" _Stupid, stupid, stupid! _ He cursed himself _I thought I was supposed to be cured from that goddamn Tourette's! Where the hell did that come from? Damn it. This day just keeps getting better._

***

_What is he talking about?_ Kyle rubbed his wrist where Cartman's fingers had dug into it. Cartman heaved a sigh.

"San Francisco," he said simply. "How do you think you ended up on a bus back to South Park? You were definitely too stoned to walk, I'll tell you that." Kyle blinked in surprise.

"That…was you?"

"Your bitchy mom weighs a ton, seriously." The taller boy continued, with another sigh of reluctance. "Do you remember the Pentagon? Project Imagination Doorway? Manbearpig?" Kyle did. All too well. He didn't tell anyone, but he still had nightmares about it occasionally. Al Gore's stupid imaginary creation had nearly killed him. Thinking back to the incident, he suddenly recalled a conversation he'd had in the hospital when he'd first woken up.

***

The bright lights glared in his eyes, making him squint. Kyle moaned as the world slowly adjusted itself into focus. His head was killing him. A nurse nearby noticed him and hurried over, checking his blood pressure and various other machines.

"Wha…what happened?" Kyle asked his voice sounding painfully loud inside his aching head. The nurse smiled at him.

"You had a very close call, young man. You're lucky to be alive, you know." Kyle groaned, slowly recalling the Pentagon incident.

"And you're really lucky to have such a good friend," the nurse continued, giving him a shot of pain medication "He saved your life. The paramedics at the scene had already given up on resuscitating you, but your friend kept going with the CPR. Everyone was amazed when it actually worked." Stan thought Kyle I'll have to remember to thank him next time I see him. The meds were starting to take effect now and Kyle allowed himself to fall into the depths of unconsciousness.

***

He hadn't learned until later that Stan had been sucked into Imaginationland along with Manbearpig. With all the hectic events that occurred afterwards, he hadn't thought back to the conversation with the nurse and what it would imply. He thought about it now.

"That…that was you?…who…saved my life?" He stared at the overweight teen in front of him, still in disbelief. Cartman rolled his eyes and let out a final sigh.

"And of course, thanks to you, I only have one kidney."

"That only happened because Stan tricked you into signing the release form!" Kyle argued. Cartman rolled his eyes again.

"Do you actually think I would sign my name without knowing what I'm signing? I think very carefully before I sign anything." He added smugly. Kyle ignored the remark.

"You…knew? You knew about Stan's plan?"

"When I woke up in a bed filled with ketchup I figured this was that asshole's doing and decided to play along. I'm not stupid, obviously if he had actually taken my kidney there might be…say a wound? I had planned to anonymously donate a kidney, but going along with Stan's plan seemed easier."

"If you were going to donate a kidney anyway, why didn't you just do that in the first place?" Kyle demanded. Cartman noticed the spark that had been missing from the other boy's green eyes was starting to glow again. He rolled his eyes at Kyle's question.

"Because, dumbass, people would all know that I care about what happens to a dumb Jew." Shit! That damn asshole psychiatrist better give me my money back! Why couldn't I just walk away? I should have just given him the gun and walked away. Kyle froze and turned to look at him, slowly.

"You…actually…care about what happens…to me?" Cartman looked at the other boy's jade eyes. There was a small spark of hope, covered in complete vulnerability. This was an opportunity he'd waited his whole life for. He could crush him. He could laugh and say that was all a lie and call him a fag for believing him. That's what he should do. After all, this was his lifelong adversary, the enemy, the one to be destroyed. And this would completely destroy him. Worse than before. He could wipe that hint of hope right out of those eyes. Nothing like a dash of hope to make the final crushing blow all the sweeter. Just do it. Laugh at him. Tell him everything you said was a lie. Destroy him. He hesitated. There was that goddamn feeling again. Damn it! Just do it!

"Yeah…well, I don't want you dead, anyway." Cartman muttered. Kyle wasn't stupid. He knew that was probably the closest thing he would ever get to an admission like that. Cartman craned his neck, looking up at the sky and the still miserable weather. He glanced at the other boy who was shivering and noted his lips were turning blue. Aw hell, I've already screwed everything up, it doesn't really matter now. He extended his hand to the smaller boy.

"You may as well come to my house before you die of pneumonia or something." Kyle stared at the hand before tentatively extending his own. Cartman pulled the shivering teen to his feet and started walking. He stopped suddenly and turned around.

"Oh, and if you ever tell anyone about this," He raised the gun he still held right to the surprised boy's face "I'll kill you myself. Got it?" Kyle just blinked, then nodded hesitantly.

"Ok…"

Cartman nodded approvingly and tossed the weapon to Kyle. The other boy fumbled it a moment before catching it. Having nothing else to do, he followed the boy who threatened to kill him if he ever told anyone he'd saved his life.

So there you go. I know, super random, but hey it was late and I just felt like writing it. I edited it through a few times cuz I thought Cartman had been a little too nice. I guess he's still a little out of character (He actually has a conscience!), but oh well; I kinda like how it turned out. R&R plz!


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